Some asshole girl from london posted on my bfs facebook tons of “I love you”s and called him hot and sexy and said she needs him, that hes the only one she wants to talk to. She also posted some graphic poem about sex. Then, to top it all off i find out that he hid his relationship status (to which he has “no idea” how it happened). He doesn’t think its such a big deal cause they never met and were just pen pals… but come on that’s taking it too far. i know this is petty fb shit but I’m still fucking furious. I feel like such a fucking fool. who knows how many of our friends saw that shit or How many girls saw and now think he’s single? There’s nothing he can say to make it better. I think he doesn’t know how to say nice things, which makes me think its because he doesn’t think them about me. i just keep yelling and lecturing him and making it worse. Am I crazy for getting this mad? What am i supposed to do
So tired of being tired. Wish I could get inspired
So i went to this hippie party in a glass blowing studio today. My whole fam was here, and when we were leaving we missed the exit and a cop pulls in and tells asks us what were doing. This place is highly illegal, no liquor license, underground venue… So of course I’m like “oh we were just turning around” cause we were and its none of his fucking business why. He just was trying go bust the place and we happened to be the last people in the line of traffic leaving. He asks us if were drinking, i say no, he comes out, sees a can from fucking weeks ago when we went to the beach and makes my bf get out of the car… at the same time my aunt and uncle just happen to be leaving. my uncle gets out and talks to the clearly, young, 21 year old-ish cop and waits for the bullshit tests to be done. My boyfriend gets 2/3 passed, the third one being (of course) the heel to toes which he messes up the last FIVE steps. He failed mostly because, according to he cop, “your girlfriend seemed eager to lie” no shit, fascist… i wanted to go home and that place was awesome, im not fucking ratting and he cant legally go in without a warrant so he was just pissed i ruined his plan. Meanwhile in my aunts car,my clearly underage cousin vomits all over himself and I start hysterically laughing. My aunts trying to tell me to shh and my uncle gets in and yells at me before realising the overwhelming stench. All in all ill say this was a good night., and my aunt and uncle were also drunk and won’t tell my dad. I’ll end this story with a quote from my usually serious uncle “it’s a weird feeling being older than cops that pull you over, everything changes” and ” you haven’t lived unless you’ve been so drunk that you fall out of the car onto a busy road”
My boyfriend found out I relapsed and is going fucking nuts. I thought telling the truth would defuse the situation but it just made it ten times worse and he keeps adding in crazy made up stories. Now more than ever i need emotional support not judgements. I just don’t know how to make this okay. I wish he could just understand
Fuck this lady that’s coming over all the time. It’s too soon for my dad to date, he too vulnerable. Im too vulnerable. And I would like to make coffee without awkward convos. Fuck this, I’m miserable
I feel like I’m stepping on glass everywhere i go. Like everything’s catching up with me, pushing me to the ground; crashing and shattering every part of me that’s genuine. Im just numb, I’m falling from the highest tree.
The most infuriating feeling in the world is getting punished for something you didn’t do, by someone who means the most.
Everyone’s honest eventually.
There’s so much I want to do, say, paint and draw. But when I get the chance, I feel so overwhelmed. I jump from idea to idea so much that the paper is almost blank.
Using someone’s personal, mental Heath issues as weapons when we argue is not okay. Nor is refusing to talk things out like an adult. And further more if your idea of gaining trust is to discredit mine, then fuck you. I’m stronger than you give me credit for, I have my shit together. And if you really think that little of me then you really don’t know me at all. fuck off
- I wonder where my boyfriend is. Its not like him to just disappear
-I almost started crying looking at Halloween decorations in Michael’s, thinking of my awesome childhood halloweens and missing my mom.
-I bought yarn and will hopefully use it this time
-I need to work on my etsy, i need to draw, i need to be creative. I need to be comfortable with myself again, and stop letting others invade my head.
-i need a lighter to light my candle and incense, so i can be comfortable in my own home
-i need to find my own home
A few years ago when I worked at a kiosk, i was telling my friend about my cat, who i just got at the time. So she starts telling me about how much she hates cats and about her tropical birds. I forgot what she said exactly but it was about how they live by their own rules, and how she just helps them. But then she starts tearing up about how beautiful they are and about how much she would like to see them fly outside. how they have the ability to escape but wouldn’t be able to survive in our climate. Idk what got me thinking about that, but it was such a beautiful, relatable thought. And I want to remember it
The mall by my house was on tosh.0; (><) …figures.