My cat keeps mysteriously getting out so whenever I don’t let her out she stares out the window with this omnipotent look on her face like “I know where I belong; outside” cats are so cool the moment they’re born they just KNOW they’re meant to be outside.
Yay for conquering your fears at a bar by saying an awkward hello to people who can’t wait to get away from you, while you try to continue an awkward conversation!
Reading my moms old poems was sucha bad idea… I need her so much.
Shes really into her dreams lately, shes getting better at realizing when something is a dream, its usually when she remembers she cant walk and it starts with an itch on her leg. A few weeks ago, i wrote about a dream she had where she was trying to get somewhere before the car she was in stopped working…well, last night she had a dream where she got to her destination. She was looking for a place to eat, stopped for directions at a gas station and then got lost. She finally made it there and started talking to a women named Isis, and they became great friends. Anyone who knows my mom knows how easily she made friends with people, unlike me, my brother or my dad; whats strange is that I used to have a big poster of a painting of Isis over my bed because i was obsessed with ancient Egypt for the longest time, still am. I dont think she remembers that, she didnt even know what it was a poster of. Isis is considered the godess of motherhood, nature and magic. Its said the nile flooded every year because of the tears she cried when osiris died, when the nile went down it symbolized bringing him back to life. Isis was so popular that remnants of her story, including her son horus reached into paganism and then christianity. Its just weird that my mom would have that dream, only to wake up and tell me about it seconds after i read her diary.
You guys are not going to believe the amount of bullshit that happened today: Okay, so calling someone cute is now equivalent to me fucking said person? But you know, while we were together you, actually fucking other people and saying much more perverted things about strangers was completely ok…. Just because i say someones a cutie for doing something nice does not mean i want to fuck them, and i certainly do not deserve to be treated like i already did. And Even if i did sleep with them you still wouldn’t be allowed to treat me this way. But the fact is that, i didn’t do anything wrong, and i didnt mean anything more than i mean calling my dog cute. Its disgusting that i had to repeat this to someone a thousand times today because all of his friends now are probably talking about me like im a prostitute. I cant believe this amount of stress is caused by something so innocent, and is coming from someone i held so dear. And That ends my ridiculous rant bout this ridiculous thing thats actually, ridiculously occurring right now.
I hung out with someone i used to work with tonight and aw shes so awesome. shes been through something similar to what im going through with my mom and was really helpful and understanding. shes so nice and sweet and yay, have a friend whose a girl for the first time in a while and this is so nice.
Really hope im making the right descion and dont end up alone forever. I just have so much stuff going on :(
Fuck, lifes not about who has it worse. Neither of us have it easy, nobody really does…Stop comparing everything and just be there for me when i’m upset, its not that difficult.
And on the other hand dont be all “shh, look who your talking to, she has it so much worse” when complaining about your life, its the same thing and even more annoying
HAppy valentines day! Your Netflix is suspended .
I didnt think it was possible to miss someone so much, while shes in the next room. I hate when people dont appreciate their mothers or act like spoiled brats in public. I wish more than anything my mom would take me out to lunch, and your complaining because of some ridiculous, small, materialistic thing. You should wake up everyday and hug your mom if you can, or at least call her once in a while. Its not even the fact that mine cant walk that kills me, its how my Mom cant remember all those “ill tell you when your older” stories she promised me when i was young…she cant even remember what happened to her, and i don’t know if i should remind her, its all just so terrible. I hope you all call and kiss your mom everyday, and I hope you apologize for being such bitches when you were a teenager, because everyone goes through that phase. I hope you get to be best friends with her and get to introduce her to your spouse and kids one day. Because so many people get robbed of that opportunity for a number of reasons, I hope you never have to go through this.
Today, a guy gave me a ten dollar tip and said “you’re a hard worker, and its a tough job. I admire that” i looked straight at my manager and told him “thanks, it’s really good to have some recognition” to which he said “dont i know it.” Man, what a nice fella. Such a few kind words can go a long way. I might not even send that letter ive been writing to corporate about my boss, as long as someone thanks me, im happy. I hope you all had a lovely evening too.